Do you want something done, ask the busy person

Why is that?

Why is it that if you look like a doer, a person to get the job done, suddenly more people want you to do things for them?

Having a bit of a down day here, just tired from trying to cram too much into the days of my life.

Found myself on the EB committee and now seem to be the delegate secretary of the same. Doing the karate stuff love that, but it too comes with lots of organisation, especially around grading time.

Then there is the parent I have to ring that has just had a child diagnosed with a hearing loss - boy do I feel guilty I haven't called her yet.

Work, home life, kids, homework - no wonder I am tired.

So there was only one thing for it - PIZZA for dinner tonight, no cooking, no cleaning, just sitting about on my butt which may get larger if I do this too often - who knows might even head for a glass of red in a minute.......

Finding your dream

Well super exciting week for our family this week. Last weekend saw our nephew make his way onto the hallowed turf of Hindmarsh Stadium as part of the Baby Red's - Adelaide United's Youth Team!! Check out the link on this page to find out more about the Baby Red's and our favourite "Baby Red"!

Oh we were so much the excited Uncle, Auntie and cousins - so much so that when the 2 senior players dropped from the A side took to the pitch at the outset, it all took all our self control not to jump the fence and give them what for!! But alas part of the new youth league is that up to 3 senior players can play down in the youth league while regaining form or recovering from injury : -(





This poor guy was probably only in his early 20's but to us he was an "old dude" taking up the space our nephew should have been in! In true mature responsible adult fashion we all had a great time coming up with comments shared just between us of course not for general consumption.





BUT the rules also say that each youth player must play for 30 minutes, so with 30 to go, the announcer spoke those magic words "Substitution of Adelaide United, coming off is (blank) and coming on his place is Michael Doyle" - at which point I could do nothing but yell and scream like banshee from the top row of the stands right under the scoreboard!!! My poor kids were looking for the concrete stand to split wide open and swallow them whole but hey they are used to me by now!





Michael has had a soccer ball at his feet almost every waking hour from the time he could walk. His Dad played and coached soccer and so has always been very happy spending time with Michael and a soccer ball from a very tender age.





We have all watched him progress through the various competitions, almost always playing well above his age level because of his abilities.





Every time he went to Hindmarsh to watch a game he dreamt of the day that maybe he would be on that pitch as a player, not just a spectator in the stands.





Last Saturday he did just that and realised his dream!





This is only the beginning for this talented young man and we are so proud of him! So happy too that all the years of sacrifices, of hours spent working on physical fitness, ball skills and still spending enough time on his studies to complete year 12 and start on a TAFE course as well, he has finally taken that big step to be part of the Adelaide United family.





He is also just a really lovely young man and untainted by his successes, we watch eagerly on to see what the next chapter of finding his dream will hold.

It's all about me, me, me

OK been awhile, but I have gone a little blog crazy today....

Yesterday our 24,000 litre rain water tank arrived, to be connected up next week - very exciting!

This will be added to the 3 existing 1400 litre tanks we have. When we are finished they will all be hooked up to the big'un and a pump will ensure that the rain water is pumped into the house for us to use.

Since we don't use that much water on watering our garden, we aim to get 6-8 months a year running on rain water.

What really bugs me is when you mention to people you are going to set up to use rain water you get..."why? It isn't like water costs that much? You still have to pay service fees and stuff."

Yep you do and yep water doesn't cost much right now, but I'm not sure it will stay that way.

Besides this isn't so much about the money we might save but more about trying to use the rainwater and take less out of our dying Murray water system. Don't get me wrong we are not labouring under any illusions that the small bit of water we use will suddenly resurrect the Murray if we are not taking it. We also recognise how much water industry and farming use and that individual home owners usage is really a drop in the ocean.

BUT every little bit has to help, and even if it doesn't amount for much in real terms right now, perhaps the message it sends to our kids about trying to be mindful of ways that we can better use our resources, will have a bigger impact in the future.

If all of our kids were learning the lessons of renewable energy resources, electricity audits on home power use, how to collect and save water for the times when it isn't so abundant, then just maybe we might make some bigger steps in the future than we are doing right now. The apathetic amongst us certainly are not leading the charge for future action now, are they?

Next stop solar panels!

Sexting

Ok so now "sexting" has become a possible means by which teens can be bullied or harrassed?

According to recent media reports, teens are sending sms messages with sexually explicit content, or even photos of themselves, to boyfriends who, when the relationship fails, choose to send them to the girl's friends, family or other males at the school.

Or apparently some boys get a mate "to secret themselves away" in a hidden place so they can film sexual activity between the other boy and his girlfriend and then they can do what they like with these videos.

What the hell is going on????

I mean sure teens have always used various means by which to flirt with one another and yep when relationships go pear-shaped people don't always shower themselves in glory with the way they behave.

But really, what is going on here? Why is that these smart techno teens of today don't see how easy it is for their trust to breached and abused and the far ranging implications for them if someone does breach their trust? What are they thinking sms-ing compromising images of themselves to their boyfriend? As for text messages of an explicit nature, have we learned nothing from the lessons Shane Warne has tried to share with us? I mean it wasn't like we had to get it the first time, he did afterall give us more than opportunity to heed and understand the message!!

It is all kind of sad really. It seems that is just getting harder and harder for our kids, especially our girls, to be just that KIDS. All too soon they are feeling peer pressure to wear make up, to dress like a "mini-adult" or sometimes, lets be honest, like mini-hookers in some cases. The children's underwear department host's bra tops and matching knickers and allegedly according to some mums, even g-string underwear??? Are you serious? Why are we raising kids who at that tender age are even going to care if the top matches or the undies, or even that they need to wear a "bra top" when they have a chest to rival a pancake??

As a girl at that age, maybe it was just me or even my generation, what a bunch of totally unsophisticated, naieve munchikins we were. I can remember in year 7 getting into trouble at school because we trying to do those "up their cazaly" football marks on the backs of the guys we hung with - not sure why we got into trouble whether it was because we were unladylike (shocking I know!!) or because we may have injured the guys or ourselves on their watch! And for those really really out there times there was the age old kiss chasey - where you had to run like the wind when the guy you didn't like was after you, or trip and fall with the style of many a leading actress in the typical horror flick, when the guy you really fancied was chasing you!

Maybe the boys were being raised in an environment of more respect for girls as seen at home and maybe as a result of the kinds of music videos now plastered everywhere on a weekend morning, not being available to them back then. Maybe we girls were the product of raging female lib parents??

Although my Mum was certainly not like that. My Dad was a pretty strong personality though. But I always remember having a strong sense of self respect. Not that I didn't suffer the usual teen angst of self consciousness and feeling like everyone in the room was looking and judging me when I walked in, when in actual fact, was the reality was they probably didn't even notice me!! However I do remember having a strong view of me and what was acceptable and what was not.

I can remember a camp in primary school, must have been year 7 I think. We had a kind of young dude teacher we all thought was pretty cool...but he elevated his status big time when he brought his younger brother to the camp to help out. He must have been a uni student or some such I think but he had almost shoulder length hair and played the guitar. Oh you can picture it now, can't you? Like a scene out of grease, these 12-13 year old girls sitting around the camp fire postively glowing "in love" with the teacher's hot younger brother as he sat playing guitar. I recall him playing "living next door to Alice"...big mistake on his part - that became the camp theme song - for the girls at least. The cue to sit and drool while trying to sing and feast our eyes on this addonis before us! Kind of funny now looking back on it!

In high school we had the group of friends where invariably you tend to all being going out with one of the group. There was a guy in this group who as year older than me....we were going out together when I was about 15 I reckon...for all of like 6 weeks! Yeah long term relationships back then...however long term enough for him to decide to broach the conversation of the prospect of indulging in some horizontal dancing!!

Well poor bastard, don't think he had any idea of just what a wrong idea that was when he was dealing with me - by the time my tirade had finished I reckon his ears would have been ringing for days! It started with "Excuse me, just what kind of girl do you think I am?" and rolled on from there like the proverbial train derailment with accompanying wreckage along the way!

Granted one of my friend at around the time claims to have "done it" in the back of a horse float with one of her the guys from her horse riding club - but well you never know do you really? Sure she had the hickeys but hickeys are a long way from "doin' it"

The thought of taking photos of ourselves and giving them to these guys - not even in the same library let alone the same page of our thinking back then!

Hubby works in an environment where he sees too often girls who have such a low self esteem and their self respect is so lacking that in essence they are letting these boys do what they want to them in order to feel valued or accepted. The conversations hubby has had the misfortune of overhearing, can only be described as tragically sad and soul destroying.

I know that it is an issue of self esteem but it pulls at my heart that these girls feel it is ok for boys to treat them this way. That somehow this will gain them acceptance! I want to shout at them "you are better than this, you deserve better than this, this is not ok!"

"You do not have to do things you are not comfortable with or behave in ways that are self-degrading just to fit in"

"You are beautiful just the way you are, if this moron can't see that, he doesn't deserve you, kick him in the cods and go find someone who is worthy of you"

Sadly that doesn't happen and these girls find themselves on a slippery slope that often has far reaching implications in the longer term.

So fellow parents - we have a war to win.

Parents of daughters - build their self-esteem and their self respect. Have them honour who they are and their right to be treated correctly. Have them understand the loser that bags them for not wanting to sleep with them or do this or that "for them" is a loser with a "L" and they should run as fast as humanly possible away from people like this - these losers are not worthy of them! Have them also value and acknowledge those boys that do treat them with the respect they deserve.

Parents of boys - build their self esteem and self respect too. BUT teach them that they must respect the female of the species in the same way in which they respect themselves. That they should think of how people treat their mother when they think of the females in their lives. Would they like people to treat their mother in a way that was disrespectful? No, and so they should treat the ladies in their lives in the same way in which they like to see their mothers treated.

Master 16 surprised last year when relaying the story of a girl who he is good friends with that asked him if he liked her more than a friend. He replied he did, he liked her as a "very good, one of his best friends" friend but he didn't like her in a girlfriend kind of way.With all those raging hormones, it was good to see he valued her friendship and her as a person enough to be completely honest with her! Ok so maybe it might have something to do with the fact his mother is a black belt and would seriously kick his arse if she found out he was treating a girl with anything but his utmost respect!

The Rarity of Normality

So according to recent reports, todays internet technology is repsonsible for an increase in violence in our younger folk, places like facebook and myspace and everything in between apparently.

Add to that the regularly touted statistics that only about 2 kids in a class of 28 regularly sit down to an evening meal with their family - and well it all paints a pretty depressing picture.

Perhaps it is the social breakdown of the family unit, of community spirit and caring for the welfare and well being of others in our community that actually serves to generate the problems we are seeing today, perhaps this is more the culprit than facebook or myspace or even youtube!

All of this, and a recent birthday of Master 16, had me contemplating just how lucky we are, here in our household - I don't know if we are the rarity of normality (as it was when we kids grew up) or perhaps we are the exception to a sadder more modern normality.

Master 16 had the typical teen birthday that went for about a week - that is when you know you are still a kid and not an adult - when you are an adult you are lucky to get your birthday to last for 24 hours .....

So Master 16 celebrated on the day with a dinner for just the 4 of us at Gringo's Mexican at the Bay - oh and it was good! We are all a bit partial to guacamole, nachos and tortillas. So there we sat, inhaling this beautiful food until we reached our fill.....well we thought we had until we found Copenhagen icecream around the corner calling us to come in and have a little icecream for dessert that is!

Then came the weekend where we spent an afternoon with my mother and step-father, and my brother and nephew. Yup another one of those family type gatherings, the kids disppear upstairs to play their games and the adults can sit and eat all that "crap party food" and chat; catching up on what is happening in each others lives.

One of Master 16's favourite comments around here is, with his voice dripping sarcasm, he says "and how mature are you?" Granted it normally comes after a well earned juvenile display from me...like when we are getting settled to watch a movie nonchalantly walking into the room clearly not bothered on which chair I sit, then at the last minute dashing head long for the desired seat, pushing children's bodies behind me! Or his most damning of my juvenile behaviours, cracking up laughing at my own jokes before anyone else does "That is just disturbed, Mum. You don't laugh at your own jokes before someone else does it is just wrong".

So on the weekend he decided to seek counsel from his uncle and get him to agree with him that in fact I was disturbed because I laugh at my own jokes first. My brother's rsesponse (man I love this guy!!) went like this....

"Well you see some of us have a more highly evolved sense of humour than others. Then when we crack a joke, we need to laugh at it, to indicate that a joke has been made, so those not as highly evolved can know that it means they may have to think a little harder to find the joke in what we said"....cracking me up, I just looked at Master 16 and said "yeah, what he said" pointing at my brother - needless to say Master 16 just rolled his eyes in true teen fashion.

Then last night was the finale of the every going birthday celebration. We were invaded by six 16 year olds, 2 girls and 4 boys. I had met 3 of them before last night. I often refer to Master 16 and his friends as the misfits and I mean that in a loving, caring motherly way. I mean it in they don't fit the mold of "teenage jocks" or "supersporty" and each of them has their own sense of quirkiness but as a unit they just fit and work so well together. They are all incredibly supportive of each other and have a great friendship between them all.

So it was destination cold hills area of town on the day that was the coldest in 3 years! yep those poor parents would have loved us coming out for a 5.30pm drop off and a 10.30pm pick up.

The first thing that struck me was the giving of "gifts". As is usual fare at this age, it is often a card with some money and maybe a block of chocolate to boot. The thing that really touched me was that the majority of the cards were made by the kids themselves, and yes the boys being creative - who would have thought??? Mind you being creative allows for the subtle double play meanings you can put in your mate's cards that you might not find in your newsagent stand! These kids had spent their own time making cards for their mate for his birthday - I was stoked! How awesome that they wanted to spend the time, and equally how awesome that they didn't feel the need to buy a card so that they fitted some notion of the modern hip crowd with just the right card - see what I mean, misfits in the best possible ways.

When Master 16 planned his birthday, he had the option to choose more or less whatever he wanted, taking a group to the movies or somewhere else. "Nope mum, we don't need to do that stuff. We have the wii, the table tennis table, DVDs. We can do all that and all just sit about and talk and eat the party stuff" And that pretty much summed up the time they had last night. More soft drink was consumed per head than I thought humanly possible - lucky they left here late, hopefully they were tired when they got home and not buzzing on all that sugar!

It was bitterly cold last night but they cared not a jot! Outside for table tennis they went til hypothermia set in and they couldn't feel their fingers and thus had difficulty wielding their paddle with ease.

Of course they were not perfect angels all the time - they are teenagers, I would be worried if they were perfect angels all the time. The allure of the spiral staircase had been fought for sometime before they succumbed. Piling on top of each other and trying to slide down the bannister. Hubby was not impressed with this behaviour and read the riot act. I had to keep quiet because at their age, running full to the brim on sugar and hormones, I'm pretty certain I would have done the same thing - afterall bannisters are for sliding down really! Especially if you are in someone else's home and you don't have one of your own!

At different points in the night we had coffee with the parents of Master 16's best friend. Mum dropped them off, Dad did pick up. Poor Dad he turned up at 10 instead of 10.30 to wails of protest as he was picking up about 4 people! So he had to have a coffee to pass that crucial extra 30 mins at the end of a 5 hour period.

During our conversations we touched on the good things and perhaps the slightly scary things to come. We touched on how whilst it is a pain to have to go and drop them off and pick them up on a cold, wet night - it is a blessing knowing exactly where they are and who they are with and that they have a safe lift home. They are all coming to the age where they can get their "learners permits" and eventually be able to drive themselves. Fortunately this group are not the least bit interested yet and we, their parents, are happy to let this one lay dormant for as long as possible.

We also talked about how many 16 year olds try to smuggle alcohol in to each others' parties. As for these guys there was no smuggling and the contraband on the night consisted of extra wii controllers, some wii games and a PC game or two.

Of course we know we have to let them grow up and take their own paths but for now, things are in a really nice place. All of us as parents in this group know where they are, we drop them at each others' houses for movie nights, or poker nights or warhammer game days. We also know that the parents of all these kids have done a great job raising great kids who are respectful and sensible and just enjoy hanging out together without the need to do totally random stupid things.

So for now, as a group, we feel really blessed that our kids have found each other and have found a really great friendship group and that we as parents can feel comfortable in slowly letting them find their feet and start to explore more of life on their own terms.

Wow, wow and more wow

What an amazing and inspirational weekend this has been. Ok sure, the fact it was jammed pack full of karate might have been part of the reason!

However it was having a weekend seminar led by Rod Martin (and his father Graham for one day) that was the cause of all this excitement and inspiration.

So whilst never one to think I was anything that great in this karate caper, I guess after doing it for awhile, you have a notion of what you know, right? Well kind of...what you don't know, is how damn much you don't know! Well after this weekend, we could park this universe and the next into the space that fills what I don't know!

BUT this is not a woe is me, life is horrible I'm going to go eat worms kind of what I don't know kind of post...oh no no no!

This is a how awesome, how amazing that there is so much that I don't know, yet now have an opportunity to learn. Perhaps even more amazing - the realisation that I will never stop learning, there will always be things to learn, to contemplate, to delve further into in order to gain a better understanding.

Being the not so nice side of 40, it has been in my mind that perhaps at some point, it will be time to call it a day because I'm not going to be able to do a head high mawashi geri for ever.

And you know that doesn't matter! It is so clear to me that there are several lifetimes of learning there just waiting for the taking. These men in their 70's still training, still living karate, still brilliant practitioners of their art, and passing their skills and knowlege onto others - how can you not be attracted to that? To be able to keep learning right on through to your later years.

Case in point Leo Lipinski born in 1946, and Shuji Tasaki in 1931 both of whom are still practising and still managing to frighten the beejeepers out of their students with their power and skill!

Leo Lipinski (Left picture) Shuji Tasaki (Right Picture)

Now this weekend has not been without its "interesting moments" - like in the first 10 minutes when I nearly did the "big girl"thing and burst into tears! Oh yeah big tough karate-ka reduced to big girl in near record time! It wasn't the notion of not doing it right, nor was it the notion of being

corrected that nearly caused the big bottom lip drop! It was the sheer blind frustration of seeing it, processing it in my brain and then have my body feel like it belonged to someone else's brain stem because it sure wasn't doing what the signal from mine was telling it to do! Seriously glad the tears didn't flow because then I would have been seriously cranky pants at myself for the big girl routine.

It's a funny thing that often times as adults we dwell in the comfort zone of the known and we learn bits and pieces here and there, yet to put yourself out there as a complete beginner is sure heading into scary territory. Add to that putting yourself out there standing side by side with students you teach, that my friend is humbling on a big scale...yet equally how empowering for all of those lower belts and kids to see us as their instructors struggling with new concepts and being corrected on our mistakes right their alongside them and blending in as complete unco's.

Perhaps it is all the karate talk of the weekend or the fact that much of our talk also touched on the more spiritual side of what we do, but it was sure a weekend of contemplation. In terms of actual physical techniques/applications, there were many ahhh-haaaa light bulb moments when concepts or ideas just clicked or became clearer than they had ever been.

On a more philosophical level, there were as many lightbulb moments. Like that we might regret that our opportunity to partake in this didn't come along sooner - yet as Rod suggested, things often come along at the right time, the time that you are ready for them. It is highly likely without having trod the path of the last 3 years, I would not be as engaged and motivated and keen to take this stuff on as I am now.

It got me thinking on a different level about our westernised system of coloured belts and levels and kata. Do we get too caught up in what belt we are, when we might next grade and lose sight of the learning, the growing, the fact that we will continually be learning, or should I say, we should be continually learning!

I think I read somewhere that historically in Japan, there were no colour belts, you were a white belt until such time as your sensei decided you were now ready and had developed within yourself on the journey to be a black belt, and that the black belt was representative of your white belt that had become so dirty during all those years of training it was in fact almost black.

So after the most amazing weekend in which we gained just a snap shot of what is possible, of how much there is to learn - I now have a new outlook on my karate - to now being that of the eternal beginner!

Thanks to Rod, Graham and Hoshindo for a brilliant weekend and the beginning of a beautiful friendship : - )

Common Sense

When my father retired in his latter years, I recall having a conversation with him about common sense. He said that he had thought the common sense was everywhere but since his retirement had instead found it to be as rare as hen's teeth...he was astounded at the total lack of common sense displayed by the general population.

Like the person who asked me a few weeks ago if breaking a board with a punch hurt? Well what do you reckon, if you hit a solid object with your hand of course there is going to be some discomfort Einstein, I mean really, did you expect me to say it didn't??? Sure it doesn't last long but yes you can feel when you have hit it!!!



Or the morons that think the merge lane is in fact a ticket to plant your foot in order to beat the other guy into the lane...oh the fact there is a round about less than 50m ahead of you and you have to jump on the breaks to avoid rear ending the person in front of you, clearly not something to be considered let alone worried about.



Or that person at work that asks that you do something for them which you dutifully do, only to have them return to collect the work looking totally confused. A few questions from you and it becomes painfully obvious they have not even read what they gave you to do first. It would seem kind of obvious that you read it first to make sure it is what you want before giving it to someone else to do??? I mean really what is with people today?



Is it the "its all about me" part of this generation that they have no clue about how their behaviour might impact on other people?



Like the shopping centre carpark yesterday. One shopper wanted to reverse out of a carpark, but the person behind had stopped too close - did they reverse up to assist the person getting out of the park? Nope, nada, bugger them, let them do it the hard way, I ain't moving Jack. So this person undertakes the equivalent of the 52 point turn in reverse to get out of this park. At the same time traffic is building to the equivalent of the Harbour Bridge with one lane closed for repair during peak hour. This person cares not a jot. Afterall "I'm alright Jack, don't really give a toss if anyone else is alright"



I just don't get the headspace between these people's ears. Nine times out of ten, their behaviour ultimately does impact on them but are they just too dumb to get it? It isn't about being the equivalent of a graduate from ladettes to ladies here people, it isn't rocket science! It is afterall in essence a bit of courtesy and consideration of others and most of all common sense. Before you open your mouth, or do something that actually demonstrates your capacity to be a moron, pause and just think it through. Is this the best way I can do this, or will it cause problems for others and can I achieve the same thing without causing a full scale disaster in my small corner or the world?



Perhaps if more people adhered to this simple principle the rest of us would not spend so many of our waking hours resisting the urge to slap people like this sideways everytime they demonstrate to us just how lacking on common sense they are!